Yesterday, Today, & FOREVER The King of Pop

Poems & Letters of Love

Happy Earth Day 2012!

Was Michael Jackson the World’s Biggest Environmentalist?


As this year comes to a close, I reflect…

BitterSweetness…Four years and four months ago, I started what I thought would be a simple journal, an outlet for my thoughts and feelings about my favorite artist.  This would be my way of shining a little light on the truth; the positives, in a media world filled with darkness and hate against Michael – so much negativity, so many lies.  Being sickened by the injustice of it all, I needed an outlet, a way to release some of my frustration and document some rarely heard truths about the man.  I had felt his pain.It soon turned into a collection of news articles and photos; an online scrapbook.  Impatient, even though I always believed that the day would come when there would be a new album and tour to write about, there have been many days when good news was scarce, and I thought about not posting here anymore.  Yet, I was compelled to continue…

Six months ago, when Michael left this world, I was literally too heartbroken and in shock to read, or post anything here for days at a time.  Eventually, I gathered myself and went back to read and collect some of the many honest, kind words written about him.   Better late than never, I guess.  The process served as a healing balm for me.  Keeping this blog has played a key role in my spiritual growth, as studying
Michael’s life and art helped me to cultivate my faith. 
I had no clue how truly meaningful my little collection would become to others.  I soon realized that my digital scrapbook, had also become lessons in HIStory within the articles I compiled along the way, of not only the last years of the King of Pop, but of the man behind the Superstar, for whom so little truth had been written for years.  I’ve been contacted by many truth-seeking fans old and new, from all over the world, giving their heartfelt thanks for the things they’ve read and learned here.  Wow.  It’s such a privilege to be a part of something bigger than myself.

I’m so glad that I followed my heart and never gave up on posting the good news.  All this time, I thought it was just about the truth, when it’s equally been about and, in the words of Michael, all for love, L:O:V:E.

Though this world won’t ever be the same without him, I thank God that Truth prevails, Love is strong, and Legends never die.

Have a Blessed New Year Everyone.


NO MORE handcuffs, no more courts
NO MORE lawyers or anyone of the sort
accusations, thieves, & devious cohorts
threatenin’ your freedom and livelihood for sport

Friend, or foe? greed & lust
NO MORE fake folk you can’t trust
NO MORE paps or pryin’ eyes
grinnin’ in your face & tellin’ lies

A new day is dawnin’ in many ways
it’s not in vain, the pain & price you had to pay
givin’ all you had, mind, body & soul
to a world that often treated you so cold

But soldier that you are, you fought the good fight
and taught the whole world while sharing the fight of your life
it was cruel and it sure as hell wasn’t right
yet you kept your head up and the pain far from sight

Your fight is over, and your race is through
demons & leeches no longer able to feed off of you

This year June 25th, you were truly set free
a Legend, you left a lasting legacy
Your strength helped us all, the lost & the found
through word, good deeds, and your unique sounds 

I learned so much from your faith and steadfast will 
Thank You Michael.  I love & miss you still
I always will

In spite of my broken heart and beyond my tears
I’m better & stronger because you were here.

Monica  @ MJJRealRealm  2009


I watch your body move
feel the song
coming from your bones
your body the brush
your feelings the paint
stroke a canvas of love
from music
only you can hear.
Maybe the voice
of God?
The tide comes
through you
as you can do nothing
but move aside
and allow the Force
to have its way
and deposit you
spent and empty
having given all
that you are
for us.I touch your fire,
dance of creation
and warm my hands
at your heart.
I stir the ashes
looking for the glow
that lingers
from embers left
when the flame
to brightly lit
flares out.

I want the heat
one last time
to remind me.
To remember
how bright the light
had to be
to shame the shadows,
fist the world,
dance the dream.

Your light still shines
but cooler now
a lunar landscape
now the dance floor
in the round.
Thank you Moonwalker
for all the shimmer.
The light you held
streaks the cosmos now,
beams you home–
a new single spotlight.
I will never again
see a shooting star
or the full moon
quite the same.

~for the fans

(c) ~ Barbara Kaufmann 2009 and beyond

Reprinted by permission from

Merry Christmas

The Real Reason

Excitement and joy are filling the air;
The lights add special decor.
We’re shopping for Christmas gifts everywhere,
But are gifts what Christmas is for?

The wreaths and the trees and the parties
Aren’t what we need to convey;
It’s the birth of our Savior, Jesus,
The real reason for this holiday.

written by Karl and Joanna Fuchs

Michael Jackson:: A living work of art

A living work of art,
a musical Dali of our times….
I love you!

My dearest misunderstood,
innocent genius,
you, make inspirational change,
sold as treacherous,
you, gave your life for love,
challenging us,
you, came bliss with your name,
falling famous,
you, shooting facades
mistaking your face
for an empty space
You, black to heaven,
brightness made human,
you, heaven to home,
never will you ever be alone,
Neverland is your heart,
you, eternal starry land,
a living work of art,
you, blessed ecstatic mind,
are now us…

Happy BirthDay Michael!

Dear Michael,

On your day,

Enjoy Yourself For Me !!

This is the day that the Lord has made…


Nothin’ but love for you Dear One,


Dear Michael


One year ago today

time seemed to be standing still

but now that time seems far away

God is so good and hears us when we pray


Today you’re being celebrated

for the wonder that you are

in both talent and spirit

by all who appreciate

from near and far


you look so GOOD in that BAD tux

Always good to see you smile,

your walk, your talk, your style

hadn’t seen that in a while


You’re stronger, wiser, and better than ever

I can see it in your eyes

yet with the same sweet spirit we all adore

we look forward to seeing and hearing more

of you

and all the new works you have in store


There’s a place in our hearts

that only you can fill

we love you more Michael

we love you still


Monica & your USA FanFamily

God Bless Japan!

art imitating life

He got kicked in the back
He say that he needed that

Don’t let no one get you down
Keep movin’ on higher ground

No force of nature can break
Your will to self motivate

Seems like you’d know by now
When and how I get down
and with all that I’ve been through, I’m still around

Through all your lies and silly games
I’m a still remain the same

And when you bury me underneath all your pain
I’m steady laughin’, while surfacing

Don’t ever make no mistake
Baby I’ve got what it takes

Look who’s standing if you please
Though you tried to bring me to my knees

Right back where I wanna be
I’m standin’ though you’re kickin’ me

–various MJJ lyrics


Btw, Millionaires & Billionaires don’t become BUSINESS PARTNERS with NO broke man!!!

today i cried


just when I think it’s over, that I’m over it

something triggers the hurt to come up again


I used to

be able to hold it in,

be better at stuffing it down

I’m not good at it anymore


I’ve learned that it needs to come out


Thank God that every year

it hurts a little less

it doesn’t last as long

and I grow a little stronger


less attached to the pain of my memories

a little bit more each day


today i cried

for the little girl in me


–Monica  1/11/06

Hear, Feel, Understand

 I can hear your heart

it beats so loudly in your lyrics


I can hear your prayers in mine

my soul, you so inspire


your singing voice, so full of life

your speaking voice often sounds tired

you’ve grown weary I fear


you wonder if we will ever hear

The message you bring


I can hear you Dear One

loud and clear


You’d like to heal the whole world

but it’s not your job alone

we each have a role

you have the ear of the world

for a purpose and a reason

don’t stop dreamin


You’ll never appeal to everyone

continue to teach the willing ones


I can hear His song in yours

I hear the love

I can hear



I can feel you

I feel your pain

And like you, it often hurts to be me

you are not alone


When your heart aches, my heart breaks

when I see your smile I can feel your love

and when you laugh, I can feel your joy

in the spirit, I am with you and you are with me

you’re just another part of me


We are outside of and beyond time

with you I don’t have to be afraid

I don’t have to pretend

I’m free to be mad or sad or glad

I’m safe to be me

to just be

I can feel you


In that place, I long to stay

there, you never have to go away from me

in that bliss is where I always wanna be

stay with me


Somehow, in so many ways 

I understand
–Monica 12/22/05

Happy New Year Michael


Continue to rest and renew

for as long as you need to,

the world can wait.


“Reenergize….Prune away things that wear you out…


The need for rest can’t be ignored; it is a law of God…

Even God rested from all of His labors

not because He was tired,

but just to enjoy His creation.”


Weariness can cause us to become more vulnerable

than we need be.


“Even the land needs to rest every several years

to produce good crops”…it can “cut down on your

production and stifle your creativity.


You don’t have to work at God’s plan for you;

He will cause it to come to pass…

Rest in Him.”

He will heal and renew you. 


“Take time to enjoy what God has given you.

Enjoy your family, your home, and yourself"…


Seed, time…  and harvest. 

From all the seeds of love you have sown,

harvest time is near, Dear One.

Your rewards, far greater, than anything money can buy,

I pray that you reap all of your hearts desires.

God has a new direction, new beginnings in store,

shake the dust off and sing a new song…unto the Lord,

about how He brought you through,

and what His love has done for you.

His Peace.


–Monica  12/31/05

Excerpts from:

Starting Your Day Right

by Joyce Meyer

What my heart sees


In you I can see the strength of your father,

the faith of your mother, the heart of a child


I can see the battle scars on your soul,

your truth, the pain of your youth


I see laughter and light,

a future so bright

and lots of love

is what I see the most of


My heart sees beautiful

I see God in you


–Monica 12/27/05

in my minds eye


He touches me in places that no one ever has.  In spaces I’ve given before, but no one ever reached.  I see him inside of my heart.  I see him in my soul.  He awakens the deepest parts of me.  He helps me to dream again.


His vision sees my emotions, the invisible part of me.  He sees right through me.


He holds me with his voice and kisses me with his laughter.


A part of him lives inside my head, like the sweetest memory.

As though we’ve been together before in another time and place. 


I know him…and He knows me.


In my minds eye, it’s love and it is real, if only in my dreams.

~ Monica ~

What’s in a song title: revised


Always Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’,

Why You Wanna Trip On Me?


So Threatened, got death on your tongues.

Makes me wanna Scream and Shout 


“This is injustice
Woe unto thee
I pray this punishment would have mercy on me”

Fulfill prophecy.


They can’t kill my legacy; I’ve already made HIStory,

but they’ll do Anything for Money


2 Bad, so sad,

Liars and thieves even stole my Privacy,

Beat It! Get a life! Leave Me Alone!  


Them and their Tabloid Junkies sit back and Smile

little do they know

they are Dangerous to their very own souls


I know They Don’t Care About Us,

but what about their own minds and bloodlines???


When we Come Together, we’re Invincible, Unbreakable

Whatever Happens, Black Or White,

You Are Not Alone  


Remember The Time

we sang Heal the World,

take heed to the Earth Song,

Pray for all of The Lost Children


“Somebody hurt my soul now”
but, as always, I
Keep The Faith

That’s one thing NO ONE can take!


This Time Around ain’t takin’ no stuff 

This Time Around we won’t be the ones to Cry


Monica 12/09/05  

What’s in a song title?


Always Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’,

Why You Wanna Trip On Me?


So Threatened they tried to kill me.

Used to make me wanna Scream and Shout 


Can’t kill my legacy; I’ve already made HIStory,

but they’ll do Anything for Money


2 Bad, so sad,

Liars and thieves even stole my Privacy,

Beat It, Leave Me Alone  


Them and their Tabloid Junkies sit back and Smile

little do they know

they are Dangerous to their very own souls


I know They Don’t Care About Us,

but what about their own minds and bloodlines???


When we Come Together, we’re Invincible, Unbreakable

Whatever Happens, Black Or White,

You Are Not Alone  


This Time Around let’s Remember The Time

we sang Heal the World,

take heed to the Earth Song,


“This is injustice
Woe unto thee
I pray this punishment would have mercy on me”


Fulfill prophecy.


“Somebody hurt my soul now”
but, as always, I
Keep The Faith


That’s one thing NO ONE can take!


Pray for each other and Cry for all of The Lost Children


Monica 11/30/05  



Once upon a time

I’ve been in a fairytale

You came to me and said:

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay”.

The purity and perfection

Turned into refreshment and relaxation.

Then you’ve been told

you had to leave

To go somewhere else

To make my heart just bleed.

The sadness and Inability

Made me lonely and brought me insanity.

In my mind is something indescribable

Strange feelings of lost and found

Night is missing the dark

And day all the bright.

But you are still here

In the deepest bottom of my heart

I will never forget you

Hiding in universe, my indisposable love.

Helena Kadlcikova

Two Kings and a Queen


just to be close, to be in His presence

next to him, she takes a seat


such pleasure she finds in sharing his space

in feeling his heartbeat


to her, His love is King

her dream is to be his Queen


to share that kind of love

one must be free in their soul

and have help from above


it’s nature is divine

always patient and kind

it begins in your spirit

melts your heart

and renews your mind


it’s the agape’ kind of love

that God intended for us to share

truly sweet, selfless and free

a bond between not just two, but three


together with God, you and me

in its arms I long to be


— Monica 11/12/05

A New Era

Hello Dear One,

It’s so good to know you’re doin’ fine and that things are getting’ back in order in your life, thank God.  Took me a moment to accept the fact that you’ve moved so far away.  Even though I understand the reasons why you had to go, it hurt just the same, that you would have to leave the land where you were born, the home you made for yourself, and all of us here who love you so much.  It seems cruel and unfair, but somehow, I know there’s a purpose for it all. 

We’re overjoyed that you’re back at work and are anxiously awaiting your new project, knowing that it will bring much needed monetary relief as well as food for the soul.
Lookin’ forward to another era of enlightenment from you…


It’s a long, long journey
Till I know where I’m supposed to be
It’s a long, long journey and I don’t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It’s a long, long journey Till i find my way home to you
Many day’s I’ve spent Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry I know you’ll be standing by my side
It’s a long, long journey  And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it fells no one understands I don’t even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause it’s a long. long journey  Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary  Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it’s a long, long journey 
Till find my way home to you ~ to you
–Author Unknown

Know you had to go


Such bitter-sweetness


Know and hate that you had to go

my tears are of both joy and sorrow

the mind says yes but the heart says no


You have to do

What’s best for you

and yours


Can’t say that I’m surprised

although I hoped you’d come back

after a while


Glad you found a new place to call home

Sad it’s on the other side of the globe


Keep in mind

No matter where you reside


You are forever in our hearts

you’ve taken a piece of each of ours 

No distance can change that


I thank God for you


I pray that everyday

You have His joy in your heart

And His peace in your soul

That you will continue to grow in

and share His love and your spirit

with the world


Always Love You Michael,


Monica & your USA FanFamily



Let me be

Let me be
your soft place to land
the one who holds your hand
when the ways of the world make you sad.
Let me be
your closest friend
your safe place
your soulmate.
Let me be
your home away from heaven
the one you want to come home to.
Let me be the one
to help you make life mysteries unfold
Let me be the one.
Let me be the lady in your life.
Let me be
Monica — 10/20/05

Dear Michael

Dear Michael, 

Thank you for your transparency, the revealing of your soul that’s so clear to me. I know that it’s the Christ in you that the Christ in me sees. I wish that the whole world could see you the way that I do, the you that God has revealed to me, is such an amazing sight to see.  

Thank you Jesus.


It’s as though you’re oblivious to, like you don’t have a clue, even though I know that you do, about what God is doing through you, that makes us fans love you so. I believe that’s what causes some to go wild for just a touch or a glimpse from you. I think it’s the Christ in you that they see, even though many are not even be aware that that’s what it is. I pray that they will begin to not just appreciate, but to also see beyond your talents, gifts, and uniqueness, which are really only the vehicles that God has given you to point them to Him.  I hope that from now on, they will not only see and hear you, but listen to your messages of love through your words and deeds.


To you, my kindred spirit, I say thank you, for allowing God to use you, in spite of what others may say or think. You’ve obviously been blessed to have had many wonderful teachers and mentors to inspire and impart wisdom into you and I’m grateful to you for sharing that with all of us, and for helping me to open my mind, heart, and spirit to embrace the child in me. I’m getting to know and learning to love her again.


I’ve been given the precious gift of seeing and feeling your heart.  Almost like it was put into my hands to examine, to open and peak inside.  It’s the biggest, most beautiful heart I’ve ever seen.  I believe that the only way it could have gotten that way, is that you’ve actually been gathering and storing pieces of all who love you in there.  How else could it have grown so big?


I pray for you, a love that feels like home, like your favorite place on earth, the place where you are free to just be, a love that is your safe place and sanctuary, a place that you’ll long to stay, that you can’t wait to get back to when you’re away for more than a day.  I pray for you love, from a woman who sees your soul and values your heart, the kind of love that you so freely give. 

I thank God for you.


You should know that you labor not in vain, that someone else is listening to your heart, and gathering pieces of you and storing them in theirs.


Love you more each day,



Leave Him Alone

 Leave Him Alone

They know that he knows their game

that’s why they continually try to ruin his name


afraid the truth his light will show 

they can’t afford for too many people to know


how greed has them fooled them into being consumers

of addicting lies, deceit, and rumors   


he’s not brainwashed or blinded by their tactics

It’s as though even they’ve become zombies and addicts


addicted to causing him pain

this is truly insane


why else would they go through so much fuss

it’s enough to make me want to cuss


I can’t even imagine how he must feel

but he keeps the faith; baby yea,

it’s the only way he’s able to deal


it frustrates me to no end

the way he has to constantly defend


every single move he makes

will it ever end?

My God, what will it take


for them to just let him be?

Lord, have mercy, please.

He’s only human, as strong as he may be


I pray, one day, they’ll all have eyes to see what I see

He just wants a better world for you and for me


–Monica  9/16/05 


MiJac is Back!

I thank God that you’ve chosen to get back to work already. 
He has a way of having His way.
I should have expected it from you, being The Giver that you are.
I hope that means you’ll be coming back "home" to us here in the USA to record.  Knowing you’re so far away, makes us miss you more somehow. 
I can’t wait to hear the new song for your "from the gulf to the gulf" relief project. I know that whatever you put your hands to will  prosper as well as touch souls and you know that all of those people affected by Hurricane Katrina really need the help.
You were born to love on us, we were made to love you.
Hope to see and hear even more of you very soon.
Do yo thang baby!
Love U Always,